A Kiss Is Still A Kiss
by Morganperidot
Summary: A moment between Will and Grace changes everything...or does it?
1. Chapter 1

A Kiss Is Still A Kiss  
By Morganperidot  
  
Chapter 1.  
  
Will was in a bad mood. He had messed up a situation at work that he should have been able to put to bed easily, and he was going to have to try to salvage something from that mess tomorrow. Right now he just wanted to kick off his shoes, drink a bottle of wine, and go to bed.  
  
So when he opened the door and saw Grace on the sofa he nearly turned around and walked right back out. But then he saw that she had been crying - that she still was crying - and he knew he couldn't do that. He set his briefcase down by the door and walked over to her. "What is it, sweetie?" he asked, sitting down beside her.  
  
She grabbed him into an embrace and began sobbing on his expensive gray suit. "I'm losing him," she said. "Oh, Will..."  
  
"Everything is going to be OK," Will said, holding her close.   
  
After a moment she pulled back. "I saw him with the doctors and nurses, these classy, intelligent women...I'm nothing like them. Look at me."   
  
Will looked at the pink top with the lace straps and the pink and purple plaid pants. "Was there a sale at the discount store?" he asked.  
  
"This isn't funny," Grace said. She got up and walked toward the kitchen. "He's going to see that I can't match up to them. He has to be seeing it already."  
  
Will sighed and slipped off his jacket. "Honey, Leo loves you. You know that. If he..."  
  
"But how long has he known me?" Grace asked; in the kitchen she filled one glass with red wine and then another. "He can't possibly know what kind of a ditz I can be."  
  
"He knows," Will said.  
  
"A little support would be nice," Grace said, handing him a glass and then sitting beside him.  
  
"The guy is crazy about you. He's not going anywhere." Will loosened his tie and pulled it off, then undid the first button on his shirt. "You're a fabulous woman, Grace. You know that. He knows it."  
  
Grace smiled. "You know it."  
  
Will brought his glass to hers and clinked it. "Everything is going to be fine," he said.  
  
"Do you really think so?"  
  
"I know so," Will said. He sipped the wine and then set the glass down. He picked up his jacket and tie and took them into the bedroom, where he hung them up. He changed into a long-sleeved shirt and jeans. "You want to get something to eat?" he called out.  
  
"What?" Grace called back.  
  
"Do you want to get something to eat?" he called again.  
  
"How about a pizza?" she called back.  
  
Will walked back out into the main room. "OK, but no pineapple."  
  
Grace smiled. "Then no green peppers."  
  
"That's the best part," Will said, walking back over to the sofa.   
  
"They're evil," Grace said. "They poison the whole pie with that evil green pepper taste, and even when they are supposed to be only on one side some of them migrate to the other."  
  
Will swallowed some more wine and said, "OK. No pineapple, no green peppers. How about olives and pepperoni?"   
  
Grace wrinkled her face. "Not olives. Fattening."  
  
Will sighed. "How about we go out?"  
  
"Right, now I'm driving you nuts," Grace said. "If you can't even put up with me..."  
Will put his hand over hers. "Gracie, I'm just tired. I had a bad day, and I'm not really in the mood to haggle over a pizza. We can go get slices or something, OK?"  
  
Grace stared at him for a moment before saying: "He's going to leave me, isn't he?"  
  
Will shook his head. "Sweetie..."  
  
"Nobody can live with me, nobody can put up with me," she said. "What's wrong with me, Will? Why am I like this?"  
  
"Sweetie, you're fine. A little flaky, but that's part of what we love about you." He emptied the glass and set it down on a coaster. "Look at how long I've stuck around."  
  
"That's because you're gay," Grace said.  
  
"Meaning what?"  
  
"Meaning you don't have to really put up with the whole man-woman relationship thing," Grace said, tracing the rim of her glass with her finger. "You're a girlfriend, not a man." Her eyes shot up to meet his. "I mean, not a boyfriend."  
  
"Right," Will said, getting up. "Not a real man."  
  
"Will, that isn't what I meant, and you know it," Grace said.  
  
"No, I'm pretty sure it is what you meant," Will said. He took his glass into the kitchen and refilled it. Grace followed him. "Any kind of real man wouldn't be able to put up with you, but I can because I'm not one. Isn't that what you were thinking?"  
  
"No, of course not," Grace said. She set her own half-filled glass on the counter. "I've never thought that about you."  
  
"You've never wished I wasn't gay?" Will asked without looking a her. There was a long moment of silence, and when he turned he saw a look he couldn't read in her eyes. "Well?"  
  
After a few more seconds' hesitation Grace said, "Have you?"  
  
"I don't have a problem with who I am," Will said.  
"That isn't an answer," Grace said. "Have you?"  
  
"Have you?"  
  
"You know I have, Will," she said. "You know I wished we could have been more than friends. The question really is, where is this coming from? Do you wish you..." He began to move past her, and Grace grabbed his arm. Will's eyes met hers, and they were so close, the tension was so thick, that he could hear his heart pounding. It isn't like this, he told himself; it isn't like this at all. But in that moment thoughts and feelings were jumbled, and he did something that didn't make any sense at all: He pulled her to him and kissed her, kissed her hard and deep and long, mouths open, tongues tangling, bodies crushed together. And he felt something that wasn't possible...  
  
Will released Grace and stepped back, registering for only a moment the look of pure surprise on her face. Then he rushed through the apartment and out into the hall.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
Grace stood there for a moment, stunned, absolutely and completely shocked by what had just taken place. But when she heard the door slam she went after him, through the apartment and into the hall. She found him at the elevator. "We have to talk about this," she said.  
  
"There's nothing to talk about," Will said, pressing on the down button.  
  
"Nothing?" Grace said loudly, then lowered her voice. "You call that nothing?"  
  
Will released the button and turned to her. "It was temporary insanity," he said. "It doesn't mean anything."  
  
Grace saw how his eyes didn't exactly meet hers. "You felt something," she said.  
  
"I'm gay, Grace," he said. "I don't have those sorts of feelings for women."  
  
But she could hear something in his voice, and she saw how he kept himself away from her. For a long silent moment they stood there, a yard of space between them, and she knew with absolute certainty. "Jesus," she said. "You did feel something."  
  
The elevator dinged, and the doors opened. He didn't respond, just got in the elevator. She watched the doors close. This isn't happening she thought, trying to figure out the moment when she had suffered a break with reality. It wasn't possible that she had stood in that kitchen and experienced one of the most passionate kisses of her life delivered by her gay best friend - maybe the most passionate kiss. And it wasn't possible that he felt something too.   
  
Grace paced the hallway, trying to make sense of it, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Hadn't she come here worrying about whether she was losing Leo? How was it that had changed into something between her and Will, something that could never possibly be?  
  
Her cell phone rang. It was Leo; he was on his way home from the hospital. "I'll see you soon. Love you," Grace said. But all she could think about was Will.  
  
* * * * * * * * *   
  
[The next night]  
  
"Sit down, you're making me dizzy," Jack said.   
  
Will shook his head. The club was too loud, and he was too high-strung to sit. He felt out of control, something he wasn't used to and didn't like.   
  
"So you kissed her, so what?" Jack said. "It's not like you're going to go all he-man and start wearing flannel and buying straight porn. It just happened."  
  
Will wanted to believe that, but it wasn't entirely true. It had happened, and he had felt something - but that hadn't been the end of it. He had dreamed about Grace, and he had spent the day thinking about her in ways he hadn't for years - ways he hadn't thought about any woman for years. "It isn't that simple," Will said. "It's...complicated."  
  
He saw a look of actual concern flit across Jack's face. "You aren't thinking of doing something stupid, are you?" he asked.  
  
"There isn't anything to do," Will said, knowing as soon as he said it that it didn't sound convincing to either of them.  
  
"Sit down and breathe," Jack said. "Look around. There are a lot of hunks here that are certain to take your mind off Grace."  
  
Will sat down and looked around the club. He took a breath and released it. Jack was right; there were a lot of good-looking men. But he was also wrong: They didn't take his mind off Grace.  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
[A week later]  
  
"And then I took all of my clothes off and danced naked through the halls of the hospital."  
  
Grace looked away from the TV screen and toward her husband. "What?" she said.  
  
"I was starting to think you might not be listening to me," Leo said.  
  
Grace snuggled up next to him and forced a smile. "Of course I was listening," she said. "Something about the hospital."  
  
"Uh huh," Leo said. "What's going on? Did you have a fight with Will? You haven't mentioned anything about seeing him recently."  
  
Will. Grace immediately thought of that kiss, the heat and the pressure, how it had felt - how he had felt.  
  
"Grace?"  
  
"No, we just...we...I mean...yes, we had a fight," she said. She stood up. "I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm tired."  
  
She didn't meet his gaze as she left the room, and she pretended to be asleep when he joined her in their bed.  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Will was deep in thought when his office phone rang, startling him. "Will Truman," he said.  
  
"We need to talk," Grace said.   
  
Will was stunned by the shiver that went through him when he heard her voice. He had been avoiding her, avoiding places where he might see her. And now he knew why. It was more than just the idea of having to talk about what happened. It was the possibility of it happening again, of him feeling again what he had felt during that kiss - something like what he was feeling right at that moment. "I'm busy," he said, and it was partially true; he had a pile of things he could be doing.  
  
"Make time. Meet me at the coffee shop in a half hour."  
  
A public place, Will thought, good idea. But what difference did it make? It wasn't like if she came to his apartment they were going to commence some sort of lurid affair, the gay man and the married woman. It wasn't like he couldn't trust himself to be alone with her.  
  
It wasn't, was it? Oh, God...  
  
"Gracie, I..." But the line was dead, and he was talking to a dial tone.   
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Grace sat at a table with a cup of coffee and chocolate chip muffin. Things in her life had become very weird and uncomfortable since that bizarre left turn in Will's kitchen. She had to get things back on track. She had to put them back in their place. Leo was her husband; Will was her gay best friend. That was how things were - it was how they would always be. Will couldn't just suddenly become something else, someone who was attracted to her, someone who she could be attracted to - or, more accurately, someone who would share the attraction she had always had for him. He wasn't that person; he was gay, and she had accepted that a long time ago. That was who he was, that was who they were: the gay man and the straight woman, friends who knew they could never be anything more.  
  
Or could they? Oh, God...  
  
Will pulled out the chair beside her and sat down. He also had a chocolate chip muffin and coffee. They looked at one another in silence.  
  
"I think maybe...we shouldn't see each other for a while," Will said finally, pulling apart his muffin.  
  
"Are you breaking up with me?" Grace asked. "What's going on?"  
  
Will met her gaze. "I don't know," he said. "Maybe it's because you got married and I don't see you as much as I used to. Maybe it's jealousy - about Leo being more important to you. Maybe it's because I haven't had a serious relationship in forever. I don't know. I don't know why this is happening."  
  
"Why what is happening?"  
  
"I can't stop thinking about you," Will said. "I can't stop thinking about what happened - and what if it happened again." He sighed and looked at his coffee cup. "I can't be any kind of friend to you, Grace, not now. I need to sort this out. I need to get past this."  
  
"And you don't think that has anything to do with me?"  
  
He looked back at her. "I respect you, and I respect your marriage..." Grace put her hand over his and pulled it away from the muffin; he moved it away. "I have to go," he said. Without looking at her he got up and walked away.   
  
Grace stood up and went after him, outside the shop and onto the sidewalk. It had begun raining, but he continued to walk. She followed him, and when she caught up with him she said, "How long?"  
  
Will stopped and looked at her. "Sweetie, I don't know," he said.  
  
"I can't lose you," Grace said, pushing the wet hair out of her face. "I need you."  
  
Will smiled. "You'll be OK," he said. "You have Leo now and..."  
  
"I love you, Will," Grace said. "Don't do this, don't walk away."  
  
"I love you, Gracie," Will said. "And that's why I have to. Give me some time. It won't be forever; I promise. I wouldn't want to live without you."  
  
Grace stepped closer to him, and when Will moved away she closed the space again. This time he stayed, allowing her to caress his right cheek with her left hand and then gently bring her lips to his, softly, silently, briefly. When she broke the kiss and looked in his eyes they were glistening. "Anything?" she asked.   
  
"Nothing," he whispered, but she knew he was lying. His lips curled slightly, and he held her hand for a few moments, then he turned and walked away.  
  
* * * * * * * * * 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.  
[A month later]  
  
"Are you going to tell me what's going on with you and Will?" Leo asked, sitting down beside Grace on their sofa.   
  
"Nothing," Grace said. That was the truth...she hadn't seen him in weeks.  
  
"Right, you haven't said anything about him for a month," Leo said. "There's something odd about you going from mentioning him every 30 minutes to nothing for 30 days. What gives?"  
  
"I told you we had a fight," Grace said.  
  
"You two fight about make-up colors and whether the shoes are the same shade of fuchsia as the dress," Leo said. "Your fights last three minutes, not weeks." He started massaging her shoulders, and Grace sighed. She didn't want to think about Will, because if she did she was going to think about the kiss they had shared and how it had made her feel - how it had made both of them feel. And then she was going to think about that kiss in the rain and the sadness in his eyes and how it had felt to have her heart break open and bleed on the sidewalk.   
  
And she did enough thinking about that on her own time. "It's a long fight," she said.  
  
"The only long fight I remember you telling me about is when he told you he was gay," Leo said. "What did he do this time - tell you he was straight?"  
  
Grace said nothing, just swallowed and tried to banish the memory of Will's soft lips and tongue, his hands...  
  
"Grace?" Leo said, his hands stopping their movement on her shoulders. "What did he say to you?"  
  
She turned and looked at him. "We just...need some time apart," she said.  
  
Leo searched her face, and she saw the worry flood his features. "Did he say something to you?" he asked. "Did he...do something?"  
  
Grace knew what he was suggesting. "It wasn't like that," she said quickly. "He just...it...he kissed me. We kissed, but..."  
  
"He kissed you," Leo said, anger brewing now in his eyes.  
  
"It was a heat of the moment thing," Grace said. "It didn't..."  
  
Leo stood up. "What kind of kiss?"  
  
Grace grabbed his hand and tried to tug him back down beside her, but he wouldn't budge. "It was a mistake," she said. "It doesn't matter."  
  
"He forced himself on you?" Leo said, walking over to where his jacket hung over a chair.  
  
"No, it wasn't like that at all," Grace said. "It was just something that happened, we were just there together, and it happened. He would never do anything to hurt me, Leo. It was just a mistake..."  
  
"Damn right," Leo said, putting on his jacket. "It was his mistake. He doesn't get to go around kissing my wife, whatever his reason." He pulled the door open and slammed in behind him. Grace grabbed her jacket and went after him.  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Will was having a quiet dinner at home with his beau of two weeks, Stephen, when the door swung open hard enough to hit the wall with a crack. Will stood up as Leo charged into the room, Grace behind him.  
  
"So what's this, dinner with the boyfriend?" Leo shouted. "Decided you're gay again?"  
  
Will shot a glance at Grace, and he knew immediately from the look on her face what this was about. "And this is why it's not always a good idea to leave the door unlocked," he said.   
  
Stephen stood up as well. "You know these people, right?" he said.  
  
"Yes," Will said. "This is Grace and her husband, Leo." Will turned and walked into the kitchen.   
  
"Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you," Leo said.  
  
Will stopped and turned back. "Don't give me orders in my home," he said. "And also - get the hell out of it."  
  
"Not until you tell me what the hell you thought you were doing sticking your tongue down my wife's throat," Leo said. He looked over at Stephen who was clearly surprised. "Didn't tell you about that, did he?"  
  
"Get out," Will said.  
  
"Leo, let's go," Grace said. "We can talk about this later when..."  
  
"Let's hear him explain himself," Leo said. "This should be good. Is it other women too, Will, or just my wife?"  
  
"I think I need some air," Stephen said.  
  
"You don't have to leave," Will said.  
  
"But you'd be smart to," Leo said. "Get out before he's playing head games with you."  
  
"Leo, stop it," Grace said.  
  
"Why? The guy should know that he is involved with someone who doesn't seem to quite know which way he wants to play or with who," Leo said. "Or is this just about messing with Grace?"  
  
Stephen picked up his jacket. "Call me later," he said.  
  
"I will," Will said. "I'm sorry about this."  
  
"You should be," Leo said.   
  
"Nice to meet you, Grace," Stephen said, walking past her and out the door, closing it gently behind him. When he was gone Will walked back to the table and started to clear away the uneaten food.  
  
"So, is it that you're gay again or bi now? What's the scoop?" Leo said.  
Will didn't respond. He was fuming. Everything with Stephen had been going well, and tonight was probably going to be the night...  
  
"Leo, we'll talk about this at home," Grace said.  
  
"We'll talk about it now," Leo said. "Why did you kiss my wife?"  
  
Will stopped what he was doing for a moment and looked over at Grace. "We can talk if you want," he said softly, "but..."  
  
"I'm not leaving my wife alone with you," Leo said.  
  
"Stop acting like a caveman!" Grace said. "I have a name, not just 'my wife'. And you cannot tell either of us what to do."  
  
"Fine," Leo said. "Do what you want. If you want to pick this f..." He stopped himself before the word came out, but Will knew what it was, and he could see that Grace did too. Leo just turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door again as he left.  
  
Both of them stood there in silence for several seconds looking at one another, then Will continued clearing the table. "He's just angry," Grace said.  
  
"I could see that," Will replied. "Thanks for bringing him over."  
  
"It wasn't my idea," Grace said, following him into the kitchen. "I'm sorry about...your date."  
  
"This is going to be fun to explain to Stephen," Will said, dumping the dishes in the sink.  
  
"It hasn't been a blast for me with Leo," Grace said.  
  
"Then why tell him?" Will asked. "Did you think he would take it well?"  
  
"I wasn't going to tell him. I didn't until today. He wanted to know why we were avoiding each other." Will watched as she twisted a finger in her hair. "He just went nuts. I'm not sure what he thought..."  
  
"He seemed to think I was playing head games with you," Will said. "Is that what you told him?"  
"No, of course not," Grace said. "I just said you kissed me."  
  
"And you kissed me back," Will said.  
  
"I didn't really want to get into it," Grace said.  
  
"Oh right," Will said, turning on the water in the sink and watching the drain clog up with food. "Better to just let the screwed up faggot take the brunt of it."   
  
There was a dark moment of silence, and then Grace said: "You know I would never think something like that, Will." He said nothing and didn't look at her. "Will."  
  
He shut off the water. "I think we're done here, Grace," he said.  
  
"What does that mean?" she asked.  
  
Will turned to face her. "You know what it means," he said. "It's the end of the road. There are just some things a friendship can't survive."  
  
"A friendship?" Grace said incredulously. "Is that what we have?"  
  
Will felt sadness wash through him. "You are the best person I've ever known, sweetie," he said. "You're my heart and soul."  
  
Grace walked over to him. "We're not doing this, Will," she said.  
  
"We have to, honey," Will said.  
  
Grace came close to him and slid her arms around him, and Will closed his eyes as they held one another. "No," she said.  
  
"Sweetie, please," Will said.  
  
"No," Grace said. She stepped back from him. "Do you want to make love?" Will just laughed. "I'm serious," she said. "Do you want get in bed with me and make love?"  
  
Will looked in her eyes. She was so beautiful, so incredible...and he didn't know what he wanted. With Stephen it had been clear-cut and easy, but with Grace...it was no longer clear-cut. She took his hand and led him out of the kitchen and toward the bedroom. When he realized what she was doing, he stopped. "Leo..."  
  
"This isn't about him," Grace said. "This is about us." She led him the rest of the way into the bedroom and sat on the end of the bed; Will sat beside her.  
  
"Grace, this isn't right," Will said. "You and me...this isn't right."  
  
"Is that what you really think or what you think you should think?" she said, undoing the buttons on her blouse.  
  
"Oh, honey, please don't," Will said softly.  
  
"Why?" Grace said. "What do you want, Will?" She picked up his hand and put it against her skin; it was so soft and smooth. "We need to work this out, one way or the other."  
  
Will shook his head. "Not like this," he said.  
  
"There's no other way," Grace said. She touched his thigh, and shivers spread through him. This is really going to happen, Will thought.  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Grace studied Will's eyes and the sweetness and love that overflowed in them She loved him the way she would never love anyone else, not even Leo, not if she was married to him for life. What she shared with Will was a bonding of the souls that went back further and down deeper than anything she could build with someone else. "Tell me what you want, Will," she said.  
  
"I want to kiss you," he said. "I want to touch you."  
  
"Then do it."  
  
"No, Gracie."  
  
"Yes," she said, moving closer, bringing her face to his, touching his nose with hers. He brought his hands to her face and kissed her lips gently. His hands slid down, over her breasts, to her chests and sides. He held her against him and brought his lips to her jaw and then her neck, and Grace slid her hands over his back...   
  
And Will broke the kiss, smiling. "I love you," he said, kissing her again, this time on the cheek.   
  
Grace saw the change in him clearly. "This isn't happening, is it?" she asked.  
  
"No, honey," Will said, rebuttoning her blouse. "But thank you."   
  
"Stephen?"  
  
"Yeah, Stephen."  
  
"Are we OK?" Grace asked.  
  
"We will be," Will said softly. He got off the bed and straightened his clothes. "Let's get together for dinner next week."  
  
"OK," Grace said, fixing her own clothes. "Do you love him?"  
  
Will looked at her and shrugged. "He's sweet," he said.  
  
"Give it a chance," Grace said.   
  
Will smiled. "OK," he said. "How's it going with Leo?"  
  
"I think it'll be fine," Grace said.  
  
"You might not want to tell him about this," Will said.  
  
Grace laughed. "Probably not," she said. "I'll just tell him we talked it out."  
  
Will smiled, and they embraced once more. As Grace let herself out, Will reached for the phone to call Stephen.  
  
* * * * * * * * * 


End file.
